Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Tuesday is a Cheap Call Girl's Lap Dog

1. I'm feeling a bit like the negligent mother that leaves her baby in the care of a three-legged hooker at Sea World while she scours the place for half-priced nachos. 
(God bless imagery, metaphor and it's incestuous cousin, simile. They take me places)

I need to keep up with this blog. If only I could ascertain some kind of literary/writerly Viagra-- because we've all read those stupid high school classroom, motivational posters that say, "It's easier to keep up, than catch up"-- and they are annoyingly accurate. I'm so far behind, that I wouldn't come close to mounting the previous post even if it bent over to pick up a box of spilled crayons (the 24 pack) and I had a King Kong ding-dong  .

This post is more of a Curious George peenie baby. And with that I have some points to barely penetrate:

2.  I spent a couple of days last week working on a project of the Poo-Pies persuasion. However, it seems there is still more work left for the rest of this week. This project  definitely has potential, and if it works out in the ways that I hope, it will be such a relief. But there is so much room for this to crash and burn like a syphilis infested penis. And  since I am such a perfectionist, that may very well happen. So keep your legs crossed for me, Hank. I am sorry if what I'm saying sounds bisexual confusing.

3. This video made me laugh out loud at the Gym. I looked like that idiot-- with the deep-throat, sardonic laugh--cackling by herself on the bikes. As in, no one else was in my quadrant of the gym to deflect such an embarrassing outburst. And this is coming from the girl that falks on the treadmill (or maybe it would be a case of the funs?).

I'm not saying that I don't like the song, because it certainly has it's charms, but this video is hilarious because it's true.

3. Even though I had more points to make, I am wildly exhausted. I heard you can catch the sleepies from a toilet seat though. So we can all stop blaming the monkeys for everything at the moment. All the more reason to layer your throne with obsessively compulsive amounts of toilet paper and Lysol.

I am making so many dollas but no cents.

"Need to go, need t-a go!"- Bon Qui Qui

Over and Out:kshh
-Michelle J

P.S. Don't forget to check back for updates on said project. And if you have short term memory loss from a degenerative neurological illness, that's okay, don't feel bad. Just  try to write yourself a sticky (Note that is). Or tattoo this post to your body like in the movie Memento. Also, don't forget to turn off the stove before you leave your house.

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