Tuesday, November 29, 2011

Episode 2- The Unemployment Diaries

Originally, we made such an epically long pilot episode, we had to split it into two shows. So all the following episodes should be substantially shorter than the first two. Which is fine, because we all know the universal motto "Shorter is better". Or, wait...

If you like it, please share it. If people can preach scream about fire and damnation from street-corners like they're hookers with tourettes(or they just had a really bad burrito), then sharing this video webily  through social media outlets should be a cake. A real piece.

Here is part 2 of Last week's episode, "Jobs Jobs Jobs, Steve":

Over and Out: kshh
-Michelle J

Tuesday, November 22, 2011

The Unemployment Diaries --Pilot Episode

Can someone give me a hoo-ha? This episode is finished and as out as Adam Lambert, and his boyfriend, and his boyfriend (That's a lot of friendly boys).

I hope you enjoy it as much as we did when we first watched it weeks ago. And by now, we've had all the noodle references we can handle. Post traumatic stress disorder really has no boundaries, as we have found via a case of the jumpity-jump-jumps and spasms shakes, with the mere mention of anything al dente.

If you like this video, don't be bashful. We've seen you naked through the clear-glass shower door (don't think your angled posture was fooling anybody), so feel free to share this with the world [wide web]. And your mom. And the mail man (who you just so happen to resemble. a lot).

Over and Out:kshh
-Michelle J

Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Let's Eat Some Low-Fat Snookies. That Wasn't a Lesbian Reference.

Do you ever have those moments where you laugh out loud at something, slap your knees (akin to how you could still slap your child in the nineties), and choke on your over-cooked quiche--all at once? I call that Tuesday.

And this past Monday's edition of the New York Post printed a short article about Snooki's recent weight loss. The article suggested that now she is a "low-fat meatball". And I lost it.
Much like she lost her v-card in the ball-pit at her thirteenth birthday party:

It even inspired me to make my own meatballs tonight: 48 Snookies in all.

Gotta love those meatball metaphors.

Over and Out:kshh
-Michelle J

Now if they had only included a low-fat snooki recipe...Yes, it would have been over the top (of a cliff) Thelma and Louise style, but I would have thoroughly enjoyed dissecting it.
With my tongue. (What, I still need to appeal to  my lesbian audience:Hank.)

Monday, November 14, 2011

Promo--The Unemployment Diaries

Hey remember when I was being sketchy and vague about a "project" I was working on in the name of the poo and the pies? I finally have proof that I haven't been prostituting my pillow-pets to fetish groups and slaughterhouses.

Here's the promo to my new sit-down comedy, "The Unemployment Diaries". It's a Poo Pies Original web series. We figured we would start out small and eventually we will work our way up to the classier comedies/web series-sitcoms with legit actors and a bigger crew. And by "we", I mean me and the voices in my head.

If you like this promo--share it, tweet it, blog it, fb it, bop it--whatever you are into. And if you don't like it, that's okay too. I mean...nobody's perfect, right?

Over and Out: kshh
-Michelle J

Sunday, November 13, 2011

Screw Good Music, I Just Want to Dance Like a Drunk Princess in Heat!

Remember when Coldplay was a legit band and you weren't embarrassed to say that you listen to their music?  Yeah, me neither. But I have to admit they sounded/presented themselves with a little more dignity in the past. And I was a bit of a fan during their, "Yellow" days.

Last night Coldplay dazzled bedazzled the SNL stage with two songs from their latest album, Mylo Xyloto. The second song they performed, "Every Teardrop is a Waterfall", Chris Martin danced around the stage like Tinkerbell with one of her wings slashed off. I spent a couple of eye-brow furrowed minutes wondering if I was witnessing an awkward tween sexual awakening, or if he was in fact having a stroke on live television.

I guess we know who will not be asked to join next season's, Dancing with the Stars, cast:

If you think this is worse than aborting a hotpocket via your bowels, you owe me a round of high fives. Until then...

Over and Out:kshh
-Michelle J

Wednesday, November 2, 2011

Tuesday is a Cheap Call Girl's Lap Dog

1. I'm feeling a bit like the negligent mother that leaves her baby in the care of a three-legged hooker at Sea World while she scours the place for half-priced nachos. 
(God bless imagery, metaphor and it's incestuous cousin, simile. They take me places)

I need to keep up with this blog. If only I could ascertain some kind of literary/writerly Viagra-- because we've all read those stupid high school classroom, motivational posters that say, "It's easier to keep up, than catch up"-- and they are annoyingly accurate. I'm so far behind, that I wouldn't come close to mounting the previous post even if it bent over to pick up a box of spilled crayons (the 24 pack) and I had a King Kong ding-dong  .

This post is more of a Curious George peenie baby. And with that I have some points to barely penetrate:

2.  I spent a couple of days last week working on a project of the Poo-Pies persuasion. However, it seems there is still more work left for the rest of this week. This project  definitely has potential, and if it works out in the ways that I hope, it will be such a relief. But there is so much room for this to crash and burn like a syphilis infested penis. And  since I am such a perfectionist, that may very well happen. So keep your legs crossed for me, Hank. I am sorry if what I'm saying sounds bisexual confusing.

3. This video made me laugh out loud at the Gym. I looked like that idiot-- with the deep-throat, sardonic laugh--cackling by herself on the bikes. As in, no one else was in my quadrant of the gym to deflect such an embarrassing outburst. And this is coming from the girl that falks on the treadmill (or maybe it would be a case of the funs?).

I'm not saying that I don't like the song, because it certainly has it's charms, but this video is hilarious because it's true.

3. Even though I had more points to make, I am wildly exhausted. I heard you can catch the sleepies from a toilet seat though. So we can all stop blaming the monkeys for everything at the moment. All the more reason to layer your throne with obsessively compulsive amounts of toilet paper and Lysol.

I am making so many dollas but no cents.

"Need to go, need t-a go!"- Bon Qui Qui

Over and Out:kshh
-Michelle J

P.S. Don't forget to check back for updates on said project. And if you have short term memory loss from a degenerative neurological illness, that's okay, don't feel bad. Just  try to write yourself a sticky (Note that is). Or tattoo this post to your body like in the movie Memento. Also, don't forget to turn off the stove before you leave your house.