Tuesday, February 15, 2011

Be Mine: Valen-Stein

Courtesy of ksguae.com

We know this wretched day, catorce de febrero, originates from Saint Valentine. We know people have been exchanging cards since the 1600's. We know l bought myself a funny card yesterday like a lonely, nose-picking, pocket-calculating loser. No offense, Hank.

In all seriousness, why is Valentines so over-hyped? I mean, why one day a year run rampantly with roses, and chocolates, and expensive restaurants, and bad sex? Why do we need this?

And why do I usually end up buying all of it myself? Yes, all of... it.

I maintain that yesterday was nothing more than Valen/Stein day. A day where Ritchie Valens and Ben Stein consummate their sweet union via bumpin' no-no Squares during a friendly game of hop-scotch. Did I mention said game was rather challenging since Valens has been six feet under for the past few decades?  If that's not unconditional love, I don't know what is. 

And if anything, I now have a new, endearing nickname for my current boyfriend:  Necrophilia.  

Over and Out:Kshhh
-Michelle J

Okayyy, we get the idea, Stein. You can put the sex-moose ears away now...
Seriously. Beastiality is a whole-notha thing. Let's stick to one sicko-fetish at a time.

Tuesday, February 1, 2011

¡GAEL-ería! Not to be Confused with Gonorrhea...

Hank, I am astounded beyond words that I missed this little mexi-treasure when constructing my list.  It's a well known fact that I love exotic looking men. and women. and if they happen to be Spanish...they increase in value (Sorry, dude,too bad your name's not Hankadillo). Not that I'm buying them to put on my  bookshelf. Bookshelves. Or..wait..

Yesterday my dad was wondering aloud what my brother would look like if I had one. I am both convinced and lying to myself that this is what I would look like if i were a man.
Gael Garcia Bernal Canales, you have been in my spank bank for a long time. If only my "owning a chubby Mexican boy" dream could come true through your inspired genes. And jeans.

SKANK BANK: ( sorry I get my banks mixed up)


and this jailbait...


and wait...


It's like looking in a mirror.

jajajaja. Not.

¿Hecho en México como Gael y yo ?  It ain't all bad, folks.

Photos courtesy of melificent.com