Does he drive a sweet black bat-mobile with more na na na's than batman and more gadgets than Inspector gadget himself? No die (Yes, singular. I lost the other one during Yatzee last night).
Does he sit around on his recliner and call the police the one time there's two high school girls screaming outside his house -- in his safe burbs neighborhood-- when he can't hear the t.v.? YES.
Does he call the police when a car swerves a little into our lane and then back out? Boy George,Yes!
Does he blow his rape whistle when his girlfriend allegedly steals the covers? God, my ears are still ringing. Sorry, what did you say?
Look some people walk with swagga, some people wear swag ,some people drive with swagger ( although, in some places it's still called "road head"). Instead of a shoulder-down limp, there's a cross-over lane dip. Since when was line dancing illegal?
What should be illegal is the cologne, Stetson, that all the fat cowboys wear. And those nasty SPURS that all the lesbian cowboys wear (Illigal-ize that, prop 8!) or..wait...
It hurts like a mother when I get the spur-side kick on my right cankle during the cow boy boogie. And I'm not sure who is worse to bend over in front of at the water hole.
Back to the future:
Pay attention and write this down, Hank (My taxes can wait):
I say Dateline should give him [boyfriend] a show. Bring back Scruff McGruff and that host of "To Catch a Predator" and put them in a hamster ball and see what you get. That's a show about vigilante, law-fighting, tight wearing, mustachioed-watch-doggy -style, but not quite beastiality, good o'l crime stopin' lovin'.And all from your recliner.
Am I right? So quitcha' worryin', plop back on the couch, and read your Tom Clancy romance novels. People need to learn their own(s) lessons and get caught doing something
Honestly, are you a super hero or a super Nero? Just to be safe, I'm going to hide the candle sticks and matches from you. Don't get any ideas.
Over and Out: Kkssshhhhhh.
1. Images courtesy of google Images. 2. I had the full consent of said b-friend to make such remarks, jokes, and racial slurpies about him. Its all in good, clean jest, Hank. And I'm sorry I yelled at you when you were doing my taxes. Keep crunching those numbers like it's braille pornography. But stop sorting through my mail. and laundry. thanks.