Photo courtesy of ilovetypography.com
Helvetica is my favorite font! Let that be known. Let your beady little eyes feast upon the bounty that is the greatest sans serif ( meaning without "wings" or "feet") font created by the Swedish. Or maybe it's the Swiss? We'll just say it was the Swish, and agree to disagree.
Swiss trademarks: the Holy Swiss cheese, the Swiss pocket knife, Swiss chocolate, and the lovely little Swiss-made Movado watches (but who wears those?)
Okay, so maybe all the Swedish have are the fish. So what?
Are we going to leave them to kick the dusty curb? To curdle like little cow terds in old-i-forgot-to-check-the-date- milk? Hells Kitchen, no!
Friends, Swedish Romans, Countrymen, lend me your ears!
And heed my battle cry:
"We will not forget the Swedish children who broke backs that-that nation might live. It is altogether fitting and propper that we should do this. But in a larger Swedey-sense, we can not dedicate, we can not concecrate Swedish orange juice, we can not hallow this
Okay, so maybe that was just the ending of The Gettysburg Address, add or detract a few "Swede" references . And an "afterbirth". But I don't think Abe would think this was honest otherwise: Hiding the Swedish children from the world and stuffing them in some attic where they write in a diary everyday and eat their
My proposal: World peace? End global warming?Better contraceptive/ population control for hyper-conservative Fox News employees? Well, technically yes. But until then, I propose to lump the famed Swiss and the lamed Swedish into a new nation of peoples. Call it the Swish. Call it the CLAP. Just don't call boarder control.
Just give them a chance, peoples. Give them a flag and fly them to the moon.Give them an std. Because that's democracy, minus the cow boy hats.
But really that's all this blog is, an escapist's haven: A couple of ha ha's and a lego-tower with a quasi-Grendel waiting to flash you--ahem--two latterns are better than one lattern. Or I suppose it would be called a unilantern.either way, the British are coming
So get ready. Cast down your nets of Lincoln Logs. And follow me, you little monkey butts--or i'll go Abe shit--and I will make you fishers of poop,clad in a top hat and awkward beard, next time the toilet clogs. Amen?
**Disclosure: we are in no way slandering the aformentioned
This has been an endorsement of poo pies dot com after prom.